i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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