There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
be right there i have to get my cape
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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