8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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