this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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