i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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