Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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