Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
