I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
