Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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