You made me cry and you don't even care
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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