I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
