hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
