non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
