im gay
i know
yea but for you.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
