that's an acceptable place to lick
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
