She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize