we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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