I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
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If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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