weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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