Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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