he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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