Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
