it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
