Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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