You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
