Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
