youre lurking in front of me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
