Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
