The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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