I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
