I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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