the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize