a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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