Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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