I feel great
I just peed on a car
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
