It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im holly from the hills drunk
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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