Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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