She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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