i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
