I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
