Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
