Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
