I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
sex in a hospital.. check
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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