He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
