You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
