Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
