Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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