and next time when you feel me up, do it right
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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