I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
