I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
