Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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