Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
