i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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