Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
