Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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