I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
