Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
