My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I party with great urgency now.
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