how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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