Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
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He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
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I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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