omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
