I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
