you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I touched a dick in church today
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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