i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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